Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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