I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
