Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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