I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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