i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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