Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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