The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i just had sex bonerless
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
