Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
