Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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