What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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