if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
