i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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