Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
