Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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