i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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