I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
