That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
