so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
