I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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