i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
