Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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