my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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