Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
