were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
