seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
