Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Everyone says I win the strip club
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
