is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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