So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
