Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
