Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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