try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
