Pregnant stripper...not hot.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
