Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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