i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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