Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
