If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
