i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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