all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize