Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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