forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
