He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
