Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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