You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize