Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
