i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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