Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
