i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
