ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
