the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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