well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
