how can u be prego again
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
