I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
