You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize