I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
