we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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