I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
