We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
