Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
