she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
