i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
