Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
