i just google imaged poop.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
